Always We Begin Again

Feeling completely anxious, i’m seeing the need for reflection.  In the middle of Lent, in the middle of trying to listen and respond to those things that are life-giving, I think I stopped listening.  Just like anything else, I, a practicing artist, come up with lots of clever ways to distract me from staying centered.   Sometimes they come in nicely convincing packages of feeling the need to produce as much work as I can so that I can pay bills, or painting and writing so much that every ounce of anything that fuels me dissipates until I don’t want to work any more.  For me, anxiety of bill-paying, listening to expectations of me as an artist, and self-imposed expectations cloud up the quiet rhthym that can be the heart beat of the creative process.  I need a slow down.  Time to get back in tune with God, with things that are life-giving, with a gentle, rythmic practice that fuels and inspires. Always we begin again. -Rule of St. Benedict

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